The loincloth. Arguably the starting point for underwear and how we got to where we are today with undergarment fashion. They existed across numerous cultures and ranged from three meter sheets of fabric to small strips with a few strings. Often they were used to cover up the kibbles and bits, but sometimes they also denoted a person’s class or position in society; so essentially no different than what we are serving up today. Let’s be real, if you see a man wearing baggy boxer shorts, he’s most likely a heterosexual crying for help. Men in boxer briefs usually just have their sh*t together. Men in briefs could be one of a few things: comfortable with his sexuality, gayer than a Gaga anthem or one of those 60+ year old men who strut around locker rooms naked without a single f*ck left to give. Men wearing jocks – athletes and hoes.
But there’s something to be said for feeling the breeze hit where the sun doesn’t usually shine. It’s erotic and freeing in a way. It feels risky, provocative and sexy. That’s where a loincloth would fit in. You could get all of those feels while wearing a piece of fabric, tied around you in a way that feels liberating, bold and animalistic – kind of like Tom Hardy in his show Taboo on BBC, Kellan Lutz in Poseidon or Alexander Skarsgard in Tarzan.
While there may currently not be too many times or places to sport such a spectacular, historical or dare we say, nostalgic undergarment, perhaps it is time for them to be updated and make their comeback. Could you imagine guys like Shemar Moore, Taron Egerton, Chris Evans, Channing Tatum, Idris Elba, Jason Momoa and so forth proudly sporting one? We could. We’ve imagined it many times, tbh.
Should Dirt Squirrel come out with a loincloth? Let us know! Perhaps it will be your new favourite pair of underwear, a new fetish or a dream come true.